Thursday, May 1, 2008

She could hear the music pounding downstairs, beckoning at her to join the party. Girl's night out, no need to impress any guys. She stood in front of the mirror, her steady hand balanced in front of her eyes, slowly brushing the mascara wand through her lashes. Her outfit hugged her closely, showcasing her best features. Today, she would be the life of the party; the brightest star in the room, the one to meet. Today, she would throw away all inhibitions, all worries, all queasiness. Today, would be her day.

Satisfied with her appearance, she made her way down the stairs, picking up a strawberry-banana smoothie, purposefully ignoring the alcoholic drinks. She spotted her friends on the couches next to the stage; each hand held a drink, each mouth was turned up at the corners, each and every one of them was looking glamorous. She sat down next to them, easily slipping into their conversation. Soon enough, her glass was empty and she was up on her feet, ready to dance. She lost herself in the music, shaking her hips, hands up in the air. Laughing, she headed back to the couches with her friends and, suddenly exhausted, dropped down on them. Her shoes will killing her: yeah, wearing heels to a party is never a good idea. But beauty comes with a price. And the air in the room had become stifling, she just needed to get out. She stepped outside, enjoying the cool breeze on her face, and pulled out her phone, automatically pressing speed-dial number 1: him.

"Hi, baby. Yea, I'm just taking a break right now."

His voice sounded sweet and melodious in her ear, calming any worries she had, and bringing her to the next world. The light turned green and she stepped off the curb, heading in the direction of the convenience store across the street. A screech of breaks, blinding headlights. Her body was thrown back, phone flying out of her hand, landing a couple feet away, battery pack coming loose.

I heard myself scream, a disembodied voice, seeming to come from a distance. I felt like my body was turning inside out, needles of pain piercing me. There was blood all around me, my blood. I heard yells all around me, but I couldn't see who they were coming from, "Call 911", "Omg please don't let her be dead". I could hear everything, I could feel the pain, but I couldn't see anything.

Suddenly, I awakened. Yea, just like that, I opened my eyes. I looked around me, where is this place? Hallways of white, fluorescent lights, a gurney was placed near the wall, a crowd of people gathered around it. I made my way towards it, hearing sobs. And then, my name. I quickened my step, until I could see who it was, lying in that gurney. I saw me. I was still in my party clothes, eyes closed peacefully, as if just sleeping. Shards of glass were stuck in my skin, my body was a mangled mess. Wait, or was it me? I was right here. I saw my best friend holding my hand, her tears falling on my face. I saw my boyfriend, slumped on the ground by the wall, his head on his knees. I saw my mom, her face white and pale, her grief was beyond tears.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell with all my might: that's not me! I'm right here! But no words came out. Wait! Don't pull that white sheet over my head! I cant be dead. I've been a good girl. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs. God wouldn’t be that cruel. I'm only in high school! I'm supposed to have a wonderful life ahead of me. I haven't lived yet. I cant be dead!

Please. I'm still here. I cant be dead. Mom and Dad don’t deserve that kind of pain. My friends are walking around like zombies. My boyfriend is too weak to let any more tears fall. Please, somebody, just bring me back. I cant be dead. I haven't lived my life yet. I want to walk again, to run, to dance. I want to talk, to laugh, to sing.

God, just give me one more chance. Bring me back. Please, God.

Labels: Writing

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